The Calm Before
by lauryne7878
Summary: On the brink of heading back to Hogwarts for his seventh year, Seamus has been feeling uneasy and takes a moment to reflect.


_**Author's Note:**_This is a somewhat unusual departure for me, as most of what I post here is Deeks/Kensi from the **_NCIS:LA_** fandom, and as far as **_Harry Potter_** is concerned I mainly stick to Ron/Hermione and the occasional bit of George/Luna. But this was a character study for Seamus Finnigan that I wrote for an application to a now long-defunct RPG. I came across it again awhile ago, and felt it could stand on its own as a gen fic, and so am re-posting it here. Oh, and Fergus is his slightly older cousin, and Saoirse is his younger sister. I hope you all enjoy this little drabble!

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Seamus lay quietly on the grass, eyes closed and a lit cigarette dangling from the fingers of his right hand. He didn't smoke often (and _never_ when Mam could catch him), but as the school year drew closer Seamus was feeling more and more disturbed. And so he'd pinched a cigarette or two from Fergus the day before when they'd been helping Seamus' Da build a new fence in the upper pasture.

Now, he was alone. With his eyes closed, he could still smell and hear a whole host of things though – the tang of smoke as he brought the cigarette to his mouth and inhaled, the rustle of the wind as it gently jostled the grass around him, and the low murmur of the waves where they rolled against the shoreline of Kenmare Harbor.

He'd chosen this hilltop on purpose. It was still secluded, while being much closer to town and the harbor than the hills on the farm. He could have peace, and smoke, and think, and Saoirse wouldn't find him here. He usually welcomed his sister's company, but today his mind felt too heavy. It was as though someone had emptied a cauldron full of molasses directly into Seamus' brain…everything simply felt _wrong_, and he couldn't think fast enough to figure out what to do to fix it. Even worse, his gut was telling him that there was nothing he _could_ do to fix anything.

Several more moments ticked by in near absolute silence. Seamus finished the cigarette and Vanished the stub, pulling himself up into a sitting position with a sigh. He took a good, long look up into the hills in the direction of the farm, and then down towards the town and the bay below. Everything in his view was washed with the golden glow of a late afternoon summer sun, and the town had never looked more like a postcard than it did in that moment. All at once, it was too much to bear…the vaguely terrified feeling of the last few weeks, the looming sense of danger, the worry for his friends and family, the thoughts that he might never sit on this hilltop again…all of it rushed over him with staggering intensity. For a mad instant he wondered if he could escape it all somehow, but sense quickly returned and Seamus felt guilt creep over him.

Before he was fully aware of what he was doing, he was up and running as fast as his legs could carry him. He tore down the hillside, following a path that led away from town and to a low cliff overlooking an isolated beach. When he arrived at the cliff he didn't even break stride before jumping off and into the water below, just like he and Fergus had been doing since they were kids. As he leapt into the air, a yell burst forth from him; it was anguish, fear, anger, and exhilaration all in one, and it lasted until he disappeared beneath the waves.

He surfaced, spluttering and splashing, and swam for the shoreline quickly. He patted down the pockets of his denims, relieved that his wand hadn't washed out into the sea. As he fought the tide to reach the shore, he noticed belatedly that the beach was empty, and sent a quick thought of thanks to Merlin that no one had seen his foolish behavior. He was soaking wet and cold, but his head felt clear at last, and Seamus knew that his impulsive dive had somehow strengthened him for what was to come. He didn't know what lay ahead in the next few months, but he did know that he would be ready.

And he _would_ come home again.

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**THE END.**


End file.
